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#31 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 17 January 2005 - 06:22

Bučan seks samo po danu

Bučno vođenje ljubavi nije razlog za izbacivanje iz stana, sve dok se odvija po danu, objavila je švedska agencija za iznajmljivanje stanova. Kompanija „Tunabigen“ donela je takvu odluku nakon što su se komšije jednog zaljubljenog para kolektivno pobunile protiv glasnih popodnevnih vođenja ljubavi. Prema švedskom zakonu, komšije ne smeju biti uznemiravane bukom - bilo da dolazi iz televizora, muzičkih uređaja ili postelje - ali samo predveče i noću.


Bokser pretučen zbog lepote

Bokser malezijske vojske tužio je devetoricu vojnika koji su ga prebili jer je, kako kaže „previše zgodan“. Muhamed Suhaimi Abu Bakar, 22-godišnji vojnik tvrdi da su ga kolege napale, pretukle metalnim šipkama i na kraju bacile u toalet. Kaže da je batine dobio jer su mu napadači zavideli na lepoti, mišićavom telu, statusu bokserskog prvaka i sjajnoj perspektivi u malezijskoj vojsci.


Zoološki vrt u stanu

Policija u Sidneju otkrila je jednog četiri metra dugog pitona, jednog krokodila i dve iguane u stanu 35-godišnjeg čoveka u otmenom kvartu Bondaji. Policiju su alarmirali susedi kojima je zasmetala buka za koju su mislili da je po svoj prilici reč o „porodičnoj svađi“. Međutim, njih i policajce je dočekalo iznenađenje kada su otkrili da u stanu postoji zoološki vrt. Vlasnik će se uskoro pojaviti pred sudijom, dok su životinje prebačene u zoološki vrt.

Blic, 17.01. 2005.

#32 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 20 January 2005 - 05:51

Nail Gun Victim to Leave Colo. Hospital


LITTLETON, Colo. - A construction worker who shot himself in the head with a nail gun — an accident he didn't discover until he went to the dentist with a nagging toothache — said he'll change his line of work.
"I'll make pizzas," Patrick Lawler, 23, said Tuesday.
Lawler, who may be released from the hospital as early as Wednesday, was working on a house near Breckenridge when he accidentally fired the nail into his head. He said it felt like he had been hit with a steel baseball bat.
Lawler didn't realize the gun had fired a 4-inch nail through his mouth and 1 1/2 inches into his brain until six days later, when he went to a dental office complaining of a toothache that just wouldn't go away.
An X-ray revealed the nail, and surgeons removed it last week.
"The nail could have been millimeters to one side and it would have severed an optic nerve, leaving him blind," said Dr. Sean Markey, who operated on Lawler. "He's unbelievably lucky."
Lawler said he doesn't know how he'll pay medical bills estimated to reach $100,000. He's uninsured.
"I was self-employed on the job," he said. "I would have had to carry my own health insurance. But I didn't think I'd shoot myself with a nail, you know?"

#33 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 06:07

Priest Who Disrupted Marathon Defrocked


LONDON - The man who disrupted the men's marathon at the Athens Olympics was defrocked as a Roman Catholic priest Thursday.
Neil Horan tackled Brazilian runner Vanderlei de Lima in the men's event. De Lima, who was in the lead when Horan jumped out of the crowd, quickly resumed running but finished third.
"I now cannot preach, I cannot give out communion — I am little more than a pagan," Horan said Thursday.
Horan also disrupted the British Grand Prix Formula One race in 2003 by wandering on to the track and doing what he called a peace dance.
In October, Horan was acquitted on a charge of indecency with a 7-year-old girl in 1991.
Monsignor Richard Moth, vicar general of the Archdiocese of Southwark, issued a statement confirming that Horan had been laicized and was no longer a priest.
"We will continue to have a concern for Neil's well-being," Moth said.


Tako treba!

#34 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 22 January 2005 - 06:18

This Has to Be Homer Simpson...


PRAGUE (Reuters) - A Czech man is being taken to court after he hid in a restaurant washroom until the employees had left and then hooked up beer kegs directly to his mouth.
Cleaning staff found him drunk and lying on the floor of the bar at the restaurant in the city of Brno, about 200km (120 miles) east of Prague, the CTK news agency reported on Thursday.
"He had broken the door of the cooling mechanism ... and detached the hoses leading from the keg, squashed them in his mouth and literally filled himself up with beer," CTK quoted a police official as saying.
The man will be charged with damaging property because he caused 8,000 crown ($340) damage to the beer cooling box.

#35 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 26 January 2005 - 15:31

Firefighters Suspended for Sex on Duty

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - Four Sacramento, California firefighters who admitted to having sex while on duty have been suspended pending an investigation, a spokesman for the city's fire department said on Tuesday.

The three men, including a captain, admitted to having sex with a fourth firefighter, a woman, while on duty. Superiors put all four on administrative leave on Monday, marking the second recent sex scandal to hit the sleepy state capital's fire department.
"The four individuals have admitted to having sex in the firehouse," said Captain Niko King, a spokesman for the department. "They even conspired to keep it secret by putting one person on watch so they wouldn't get caught."
The firefighters face disciplinary action ranging from time off without pay to dismissal, said King, noting officials took quick action as rumors of on-duty sex circulated through the department.
The probe follows an investigation after city firefighters attended a local porn-star costume ball last July. The department began that probe, its largest internal investigation ever, after a woman who does not work for the department said she had been sexually assaulted by a firefighter in a department fire truck.

#36 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 29 January 2005 - 10:04

Baka promoviše jela sa kanabisom

Patricija Tabram, 66-godišnja Engleskinja iz Heksama, priprema biskvite, supe i jela sa dodatkom kanabisa, a originalne recepte je sakupila u knjizi „Baka jede kanabis“, za koju se nada da će uskoro biti štampana!
Tabramova, koja već ima dvoje unučadi, počela je za prijatelje da priprema „specijalitete sa dodacima marihuane“ prošle godine, kada je otkrila ovu vrstu droge. Ova bivša kuvarica pati od depresije, bolova u vratu i kičmi, pa je „zbog zdravstvenih problema“ probala marihuanu.
„Otišla sam na spavanje i narednog jutra sam se osećala mnogo bolje. Prijatelji su mi rekli da sam konzumirala kanabis“, ispričala je Patricija Tabram.
Ali, neko je ove „kulinarske specijalitete“ prijavio policiji, koja je u dva navrata pretresla njen stan i zaplenila 32 biljke kanabisa, od kojih je 31 rasla u potkrovlju, a jedna na stolici u hodniku. „Kada je policija stigla, pozvala sam ih da uđu i ponudila ih čajem i keksom“, rekla je baka. Patricija se nada da će izdavači objaviti i njenu knjigu „kulinarskih specijaliteta“.

Blic, 29.01.2005

#37 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 31 January 2005 - 13:42

Odgovor na pitanje: "Zasto Srbija glasa kako glasa?
Poruke u pejdzing centru "Bel Pagette".

1.. Trange frange, dodji da mi zviznes dange /Sanja
2.. Javi mi se na kucevni telefon...
3.. Molim vas, da li je ova sprava u pogonu?
4.. Da li poruke mogu da se salju ekspresno brzo da ih ja
odmah dobijem na pejdzer, ili to mora preko vas?
5.. Kumo, javi mi kako si prosla na izlozbi pasa.
6.. Subota uvece: Javi mi se hitno u ponedeljak ujutro.
7.. Nemoj da se vozis sa kolima na Crnu Goru /Gagec
8.. Da li biste bili ljubazni da me prenesete na pejdzer broj...
9.. Dovucuj se u kafic /Mitar
10.. Zaboravio si pejdzer kod mene, vrati se...
11. Srecna Nova godina i Hristos se rodi sa malim zakasnjenjem.
12. Moramo da se nadjemo u toku veceras, javi mi se odmah.
13.. Zovem se 9557, koliko sam poruka imao danas?
14.. Molim vas da mi renovirate poruke od juce...
15.. Molim vas, pre nego sto ostavim poruku, samo da vas pitam,
kada on dobije poruku da li cuje vas ili moj glas?
16. Dobar dan, ja sam nosac pejdzera broj...
17. Javi se ili se ne javljaj /Suljo i Okica
18. Otidji po Snezu u racunovodstvo i odnesi je u SDK...
19. U Novom Sadu sam nisam bio u Beogradu, javi mi se kuci u
Podgoricu.
20. 23:07... Izvinjavam se sto zovem ovako kasno...
21. Da li postoji mogucnost da mi remontujete poruke na broj...
22. Posto mi ne odgovara na poruke vec 15 dana, da li mozemo
da promenimo broj?
23. Mozete li da pustite poruku dvaput jer mu pejdzer ne vata
uopste?
24. Javi mi se odmah ili cim prvi put stignes /N
25. Imam poruku za mog druga. Je l' vi znate njegov broj?
26. Molim vas repetiraj poruku za...
27. Nisam cuo sinocnu poruku?
28. Hristos se rodi tebi i tvojoj porodici.
29. Nazovi me, barem da mi kazes zasto me ne zoves.
30. Prosao si kroz moje srce kao krava kroz kukuruz.
31. Nedostajes mi kao probuseno nebo mesecu.
32. Uzmi iz Ilinke ako ima ono da nam da da bih vratio.
33. Konji su dobri za jahanje, ali nista bez tebe.
34. Javi se u hotel Hajat na recepciju trazi recepciju u potpisu
recepcija!!!
35. Oslobodi pejdzer, zauzet ti je.
36. Dobro vece. Saljem poruku coveku, u Kragujevcu je, da li je
potrebno da vam kazem i pozivni broj 034?
37. Javi se Ljiljinoj Ljilji /Ljilja
38. Javi se kad budes mogao do u nedogled /Goca
39. Ti meni brak, a ja cu tebe /Razbijac
40. Molim Vas da mi se javi pejdzer...
41. Javi se, ili cu preseci vene plazma keksom.
42. Volela bih da sam tlo po kojem hodas, samo skini patike da ti
ljubim stopalo.
43. Nemoj da si mi se danas pojavio na oci, dodji hitno u kafic.
44. Vaskrs se rodi.
45. Dobro vece, molim vas duplikat za broj...
46. Jovice nazovi me putem telefona /Pero
47. Javi mi se na mobilni zovem te za 5 minuta.
48. Obrane su jabuke zelene, tebe nema da dodjes kod mene.
49. Tri puta mi se hitno javi.
50 .Hristos se rodi neka mu je sa srecom /Branka
51. Molim vas, posaljite mi sve poruke od pocetka agresije.
52. Srecan ti Vaskrs, javi se ako mozes.
53 .Da vas pitam, da li vi znate kada je klijentu potrosena
baterija?
54. Imam poruku za kompjuter ###.
55. Moje fundamentalne performanse su adekvatno locirane.
56. Dobar dan! Znate, ja sam supruga od ovoga... pejdzera ###.
57 .Da li ste zapamtili broj telefona?
58. Imam poruku za ucesnika broj...
59. Jesi li zaboravio gde stanujes? /zena
60. Zivot mi je bez tebe kao Srbija pod sankcijama /Zaljubljena
61. Hitno cekam da mi se javis!
62. Peglam svilenu suknju, ali sta da radim sa podbulim kapcima?
/Milena
63. Sve je spermno za polazak /sekretarica
64. Kada padne mrak, ugrozicu vam brak /Lover
65. Lela, mama ide pred Sabornom crkvom, kad se vrati doci ce vam u
lokalu /mama
66. Tri puta hitno javi se tri puta kuci /tri puta ujko
67. Klijent izdiktira poruku i pita:
Izvini, a da li ja smem posle 2 minuta da nazovem i pustim jednu
drugaciju na isti broj pejdzera?
68 .Mobilne Kazanove, mogli ste da platite telefonski racun
/privremeno iskljucene
69. Obrane su jabuke zelene, tebe nema da dodjes kod mene.
Klijent objasnjava: "To mi je sifra za duznike koji mi ne vracaju
pare."
70. Jel' to pejdzing stanica?
71. Predji na Tetris, to ces lakse da ukapiras, ili se javi.
72. Molim Vas, posaljite ovu poruku 2 puta, znate, on je moj
direktor i ako ne primi poruku dobicu otkaz!
73 .Mace moje, kako ja tebe volim i jedva cekam dozivljaje na
grani.
74. Dajte mi reviziju novogodisnjih poruka...
75. Javi mi se u mobilni, tri put itno.
76. Jel' mozete da me spojite sa pejdzerom...
77 .Deltazet? Imam poruku...
78. Ukljuci se, pa se javi na pejdzer.
79. Mozete li mi reci gde se vlasnik pejdzera trenutno nalazi?
80. Da li mogu da vam predam poruku?
81. Javi se hitno kuci na mobilni ili na pejdzer /tata
82. Zapisite tu poruku, ali mu je dajte brzo...
83. Pozuri hitno da bih vratili kasetu u klub!
84. Dajte mi za bidzer...
85. Mislim da cu brze ozdraviti sa suknjicom. Butik radi do 20h.
/ljubi te Z.
86 . Drzi volan, tapsi, i gledaj gde vozis /X
87. Ja bih molio da mi se broj pejdzera javi u Skoplju.
88. Ja sam vlasnik pejdzera ###, molim vas da mi rekonstruisete
danasnje poruke.
89. Javi mi se za 10 minuta, ili se posle cujemo kasnije.
90. Da li je to organizacija za pejdzere?
91. Na koju kilometrazu deluje taj vas pejdzer?
92. Dokumenta ce se znati kada ce biti gotova posle 10h.
93. Javi mi se hitno, e pa to "hitno" pustite neka ide na traci.
94. Dobar dan, molim vas ako mogu da preslusam poruke.
95. Ako ne mozes da me dobijes, probaj opet.
96. Dobro vece, molim vas duplikat za broj...
97. Samo da ti se javim, da vidim da li si dobro.
98. Mnogo srece povodom rodjendana.
99. Recite voditelju da ucuti /slusaoci
100. Ja vec dugo imam pejdzer. Ako mislite da nas za*ebavate, bolje
i vi i mi da idemo u p**du materinu!
101.. Javi se odmah ili mi pusti pejdzer.
102.. Telefon mi je blokiran, zato mi se javi na aparat.
103.. Imam poruku za pejdzing sistem "Rade".
104.. ... i u posveti Desa.
105.. ...u kontekstu Pera.
106.. Izvinite, da li bi ste mogli da mi procitate sve smesne poruke
koje ste primili u toku dana?
107.. Premotajte mi zadnju poruku.
108.. Molim vas, da li je ukljucen preparat ###?
109.. I, molim vas, posaljite poruku dva puta posto mu ne radi
filter na pejdzeru.
110.. Ako mozes javi mi se, na mobil-u sam, dostupan sam.
111.. Htela bih da prijavim razgovor za broj ###.
112.. Ostavi mi telefon Spaletovog mobilnog telefona.
113.. VELIKI, nedostajes mi /MALA
114.. Donesi cvece da ne bi dobio venac /Drug
115.. Bolje da me bije los glas, nego dominantna devojka /Veselin
116.. Sine, stigao je prevelik racun za telefon, mama ce da provali
da smo zvali HOT LINE /Tata
117.. Djiha djiha cetir noge, samo jedna kruta /Ivana

#38 Indy

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Posted 31 January 2005 - 13:56

Sine, stigao je prevelik racun za telefon, mama ce da provali da smo zvali HOT LINE /Tata

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#39 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 01 February 2005 - 05:59

Specijalan biser za Indija smile.gif

Kinezi prave vino od ribe

PEKING - Francuzi koriste grožđe, Rusi fermentisani krompir, Korejci u svoje piće stavljaju žen-šen, Meksikanci od destilovane biljke kaktusa prave tekilu, a Kinezi odnedavno prave vino od ribe, prenosi Beta.
Sun Keman, preduzetnik iz lučkog grada Dalijana, na severoistoku Kine, osnovao je ribarsku fabriku pića, s namerom da iskoristi svoje znanje iz ribarske industrije kako bi od ribe spravljao vino.
Za razliku od hiljadu godina starog načina fermentisanja u Kini, u fabrici će se čistiti, kuvati i fermentisati riba od koje će biti spravljano vino, prenela je državna agencija Sinhua.

P.S. Ne mogu ni da zamislim na sta ce to da lici!

ohmy.gif

#40 Indy

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Posted 01 February 2005 - 06:15

QUOTE(Mallorn Tree @ 1 Feb 2005, 15:59)
P.S. Ne mogu ni da zamislim na sta ce to da lici!

ohmy.gif

Pa... bice fishy wink.gif

#41 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 07 February 2005 - 10:15

Dumb or Dummer?
School Eyes Name Change


BOSTON (Reuters) - Governor Dummer Academy, an exclusive prep school north of Boston founded before the American War of Independence, wants to change its name to one that won't be the stuff of snide wisecracks.

In what headmaster Marty Doggett calls a "name refinement," Governor Dummer Academy is acting on a marketing firm's advice to upgrade to a more prestigious moniker in a bid to lure better students. A new name has yet to be picked.
However, it probably won't include "Dummer," the 18th century Massachusetts governor who gave land and money to the school.
"We're trying to attract the best possible students we can from an array of backgrounds and locations," Doggett was quoted as saying in Tuesday's edition of The Boston Globe.
The school's board of directors voted to change the name, but did not select a new one.
Some alumni are apparently upset by the proposed name change at the 242-year-old institution, and Globe columnist Brian McGrory questioned the logic.
"If a kid took a pass on Governor Dummer because of its name, is that the kind of student they really want at their school?" McGrory wrote.
Doggett was not available for comment.

#42 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 08 February 2005 - 10:38

Female GIs flash breasts, thong in mud-wrestling contests
Associated Press
Feb. 7, 2005 08:50 AM

The mud-wrestling babes weren't coeds but MPs. And the scene was an Army-run detention center in Iraq.

The New York Daily News reports female MPs mud-wrestled in October, with a crowd of male soldiers cheering them on. According to snapshots obtained by the News, one young military woman lifted her T-shirt to expose her breasts, while another revealed her thong panties.

Those involved are reported to be members of the 160th Military Police Battalion, an Army Reserve Unit from Tallahassee, Fla.

The unit has since returned to the states. Military officials say one female soldier was demoted for indecent exposure.

P.S. Znaci nema rvanja u blatu samo na What`s up-u biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif

#43 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 12 February 2005 - 05:28

Feng Shui Underpants Ward Off Evil Spirits
AFP

Feb. 3, 2005 — If your horoscope is looking a bit worrying for the coming Lunar New Year, a Hong Kong company has just the thing to put it right: feng shui underpants.
The lucky smalls have been designed by Yeung Tin Ming, a master of the ancient Chinese craft of spirit manipulation, or feng shui, and will ward off evil spirits and bring harmony, claims Life Enhance, a company that seeks to bring the wisdom of ancient China to the mass market.
"Our feng shui master says that having something lucky in contact with your skin would bring spiritual balance, so we thought lucky underpants would be ideal — they are as intimate as you get," said Amy Law, a spokeswoman for the company.
Feng shui advocates believe good fortune can be generated by arranging everyday objects in a way that guides invisible energies and "spirits" that emanate from all things.
It is a key part of the ritualism surrounding the Lunar New Year, as each 12-month cycle ushers a different set of spiritual forces and believers will spend time re-arranging furniture and schedules to optimize spirit flows.
On Wednesday, millions of Chinese around the world welcomed the new year of the rooster, the next in a recurring 12-year horological cycle each of which is represented by a different animal of the zodiac.
Ancient belief has it that each year reflects the character of its associated beast and as roosters are considered unpredictable the coming 12 months are expected to volatile.
The underpants, which come in red, grey and white and in boxers for men and briefs for women, depict a dragon on the front in accordance with Chinese belief that the mythical creatures balance out the erratic nature of roosters.
"If you have a dragon on your underpants you will be protected," said Law.

Posebno se preporucuje Ms. ZaniPoliakov
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#44 Mallorn Tree

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Posted 03 March 2005 - 08:37

Something Doesn't Smell Right About This Marriage

TEHRAN (Reuters) - An Iranian woman has requested a divorce from her husband on the grounds that he has not washed for more than a year.
"My husband says he does not like water and does not want to take a shower ... He doesn't even wash his face when he wakes up in the morning," Mina, 36, was quoted as saying in court by the state-run Iran newspaper.
When the couple first married eight years ago her husband was obsessively clean, she said.
"He spent hours taking showers three times a day and washed his hands every few minutes," Mina said. "But he suddenly changed ... Now nobody, including me, my children and his colleagues, can stand him."
Divorce is a notoriously difficult process for women in Iran, who normally have to prove that their husband has neglected them financially or sexually, is a drug addict or physically abusive.

#45 Carolostadien

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Posted 03 March 2005 - 08:53

ovaj je lud ko struja...to je onaj isti koji je nazvao mjesece u godini po sebi, svojoj baki, mami....

Predsjednik Turkmenistana zatvara bolnice

Predsjednik Nijazov je naredio zatvaranje svih bolnica u ovoj srednjoazijskoj zemlji, osim onih koje se nalaze u glavnom gradu Ašgabatu.

Predsjednikova naredba je dio nove radikalne politike glede zdravstvenog sustava prema kojoj je već prošle godine otkaz dobilo 15000 medicinskih djelatnika.

Medicinske djelatnike su privremeno zamijenili novaci vojske Turkmenistana.

Na taj način su stanovnici ruralnih područja koji nemaju sredstava za putovanje do glavnog grada zemlje koja ima površinu od 488100 kvadratnih kilometara ostali bez mogućnosti liječenja.

Od oko 4,5 milijuna stanovnika Turkmenistana samo ih 600000 živi u glavnom gradu.

Nijazov je istovremeno naredio i zatvaranje knjižnica u ruralnim područjima jer tamošnje stanovništvo "ionako ne zna čitati".

U Turkmenistanu nije dozvoljeno kritiziranje vođinih odluka, no aktivisti organizacija za zaštitu ljudskih prava upozoravaju kako je Nijazov trošeći milijune dolara državnog novca na megalomanske projekte poput zlatnih kipova predsjednika doveo do kolapsa sustava općeg zdravstvenog osiguranja preostalog iz vremena SSSR-a.



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