link
# My girlfriend always laughs during sex --no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
# Don't knock masturbation --- it's sex with someone I love.
Woody Allen
# Lord, grant me chastity and continence... but not yet.
St. Augustine
# I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Tom Clancy
# You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.
Steve Martin
# Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
# Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Rodney Dangerfield
# There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
Lynn Lavner
# Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
George Burns
# Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.
George Burns
# Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships
Sharon Stone
# My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Jack Nicholson
# Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams
# Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne
# Women need a reason to have sex Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal
# According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro
# There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman
# There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.
Jerry Seinfeld
# Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
# See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams
# My family never raised me to have a vagina.
Roseanne
# An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
Aldous Huxley
# Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place?
George Carlin
# Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
# One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
Jane Austen
# Sex concentrates on what is on the outside of the individual. It's funny because I think it's better inside.
Alex Walsh
# When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
Frederike Ryder
Let's talk about sex
Started by
Drosophilia
, Jan 30 2007 11:08
2 replies to this topic
#2
Maltese
-
- Banned
- 2,634 posts
Posted 31 January 2007 - 02:23
Stvarno ima odlicnih. Meni se nazalost sprzio dokument gde sam cuvao dobre kvotove, pa evo nesto sto sam nasao
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx
A dirty book is rarely dusty.
Author Unknown
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush quotes
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Woody Allen
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
Woody Allen quotes
An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away
Mae West
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Steve Martin
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex
Barbara Cartland
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
Garry Shandling
I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.
Groucho Marx
Remember, we're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done!
Groucho Marx
Women should be obscene and not heard.
Groucho Marx
A dirty book is rarely dusty.
Author Unknown
Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush quotes
Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
Woody Allen
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.
Woody Allen
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody Allen
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
Woody Allen
The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
Woody Allen quotes
An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away
Mae West
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Steve Martin
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex
Barbara Cartland
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
Garry Shandling
#3
BOOGIEMAN
-
- Members
- 1,365 posts
Posted 31 January 2007 - 04:08
Kad je vec tema "Let's talk about sex" 
Murphy's Laws on Sex (tako se "prodaje" na netu, dunno why)
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. "This won't hurt, I promise."
Murphy's Laws on Sex (tako se "prodaje" na netu, dunno why)
1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because it'll never be quite the same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.
24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.
29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more troubles than you.
41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.
42. Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn't.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
60. "This won't hurt, I promise."
