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Mala pomoc / prevod stare skotske pesme na srpski jezik


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#1 eyecandy

eyecandy
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Posted 27 January 2015 - 12:40

Pozdrav svima,

Zamolio me je prijatelj iz Skotske za prevod jedne njihove stare pesme.Podsetila me je na nase epske pesme mada je banalnijeg teksta.

Kako god da prevedem i dalje mi zvuci malo banalno.

Da li neko ima neki predlog?

U pitanju su stihovi Robert Burns a, Skotskog pesnika. 

 

Original na starom engleskom i/ ili skotskom

 

Address To a Haggis

 

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,  (fa = fat) (sonsie = jolly/cheerful)

Great chieftain o' the puddin-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,  (aboon = above)

Painch, tripe, or thairm:  (painch = paunch/stomach, thairm = intestine)

Weel are ye wordy o' a grace  (wordy = worthy)

As lang's my arm.
 

The groaning trencher there ye fill,

Your hurdies like a distant hill,  (hurdies = buttocks)

Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
 

His knife see rustic Labour dicht,  (dicht = wipe, here with the idea of sharpening)

An' cut you up wi' ready slicht,  (slicht = skill)

Trenching your gushing entrails bricht,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sicht, 

Warm-reekin, rich!  (reekin= steaming)

 

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:

Deil tak the hindmaist! on they drive, (deil = devil)

Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,  (swall'd = swollen, kytes = bellies, belyve = soon)

Are bent like drums;  (bent like = tight as)

Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,  (auld Guidman = the man of the house, rive = tear, i.e. burst)

"Bethankit" hums.
 

Is there that o're his French ragout

Or olio that wad staw a sow,  (olio = stew, from Spanish olla'/stew pot, staw = make sick)

Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect scunner,  (scunner = disgust)

Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view
On sic a dinner?
 

Poor devil! see him ower his trash,

As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit; (nieve = fist, nit = nut, i.e. tiny)

Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
 

But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,

The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his wallie nieve a blade,  (wallie = mighty, nieve = fist)

He'll mak it whistle;
An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,  (sned = cut off)

Like taps o' thristle.  (thristle = thistle)

 

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,

And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinkin ware  (skinkin ware = watery soup)

That jaups in luggies;   (jaups = slops about, luggies = two-handled continental bowls)

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis!


 

 

 

I moj nakaradni prevod

 

Lepo i puno je Vase iskreno, veselo lice,

Veliki poglavice (vodjo) roda (naroda) kobasice,
iznad svih ti zauzimas voje mesto.
Stomak, skembici ili creva,
Da li si dostojan molitve duge kao moja ruka?
Na dasci za secenje, tu ti je mesto ,
tvoja zadnjica kao daleka brda,
tvoj ekser bi mi pomogao da popravim mlin
u trenutcima potrebe,
dok kroz tvoje pore rosa isparava,
kao perle od cilibara.
Njegov seljacki radni noz je obrisan i sece te,
dok tvoja unutrasnjost izlazi
O kakvog li fantasticnog prizora!
Topla para, bogato!
Kasika za kasikom,
Oni su jeli uz slast,
dok im stomaci nisu bili puni i zategnuti kao dobos.
Najstarija glava za stolom pojela je najvise 
i ponovila molitvu.
 
Da li je to tamo njegov Francuski ragu
od koga bi pozlilio i krmaci?
Paprikas od koga mi se odmah smuci?
Sa gadjenjem i prezirom pogledah dole,
Kakva vecera je to?
Jadnik!
Vidi ga pored tog smeca,
slabog, uvenulog,
tankih nogu kao prut, pesnice velicine oraha.
Za reku krvi i bojno polje on je tako nespreman!
 
Pogledaj seljaka, Hagisom nahranjenog
dok hoda zemlja se trese,
u ruci nosi secivo koje zvizdi (fijuce),
i ruke i noge i glave bice posecene
kao cvetovi cicka ( biljka ckalj)
 
Ti Moci, 
koja birne o covecanstvu i dajes mu ono sto je na jelovniku,
Stara Skotska nece razvodnjene stvari
koje bucnes u male drvene cinije,
ali ako joj zelis molitvu zahvalnosti,
daj joj (Skotskoj) HAGIS!
 
 
Takodje postoji prevod sa staroengleskog/ skotskog na engleski 
 
Hvala unapred na svakoj pomoci :)

Edited by eyecandy, 27 January 2015 - 16:31.